MOTHERHOOD STRUGGLES, HOW STRUGGLES CAN LEAD TO COMPARISON AND HOW COMPARISON CAN LEAD TO JUDGEMENT.

 

This blog, some of you may be pleased to know is short and sweet (a bit like me 😉 ) I’ll be honest, I’ve tried to think of hundreds of words to write to fill the space, but I really don’t need to. The message I’m trying to get across to all you lovely, good, hard-working, strong, patient mothers is plain to see throughout in just a few words. I hope you enjoy this one and it really helps you to think differently and be a little more confident as a mother.

mum card
Every mother at some point has struggled. Struggled through pregnancy, struggled with their birth, struggled with the beginnings of motherhood.
Motherhood struggles include:
• Feeding
• Teething
• Sleep deprivation
• Birth trauma
• Loss of identity
• Fear of judgement
• Lack of patience
• Mum guilt
• Lack of self-confidence/ self-worth

The list is endless and the struggles are real. As a mum, many of us learn to put on a brave face, hold the family together and put ourselves at the bottom of the pile. This pressure is tough for us mums already, so why are we making it tougher than it already has to be by comparing ourselves and our children?

woman working girl sitting
Every mother and child has their own struggles but mums, it’s so important not to compare another mothers struggles with your own, as comparison is so unhealthy for anybody. The thing is mums, everyone copes and deals with their own motherhood problems in their own way. What may look like a happy mother on the outside may really be an emotional mother on the inside. What may seem like a perfect, made up mother on the outside, may actually be a lonely mother on the inside. What may seem like a mother who has the perfect child on the outside, may really be a mother whose so sleep deprived from her child’s bad sleeping habits that she’s breaking inside. Two business mothers I follow on Instagram are The Step Up Club and on a podcast with Motherkind one day, they said this quote and it really has stuck with me:

“Don’t compare someone’s outside to your inside”

I’ll let you just sit with that quote for a while, re-read it if you need to, write it down on a post it note, have it framed. Just remember it.
step up club.jpg
Mums, what I’m trying to say is, please don’t compare your struggles with any other mothers. I’ve thought a lot about this recently and I’ve come up with this:

‘Comparison is the first stage of judgement’

And mums, it’s not pretty. As soon as we struggle, we start comparing, and as soon as we start comparing we plant a little seed of judgement in our head. This could be judgement about others or even about ourselves. That seed grows and grows until it becomes an ugly weed. So mums, instead of comparing and judging, we could be using this energy into supporting other mothers and ourselves. Instead of knocking ourselves down, try building ourselves up. Try to pick out your good qualities as a mother, because trust me, every mother has at least one. Just remember, we all have our own struggles and we all have our own insecurities. But let’s all try to be a little kinder to ourselves and to one another. The struggles are real and motherhood is underestimated, but fellow mums, motherhood is such a wonderful experience and such a gift, so let’s all try to embrace it and love (almost) every minute of it.

sunset hands love woman