MY ‘WHY’, AN AUTHENTIC AND OPEN ACCOUNT OF MY MOTHERHOOD JOURNEY SO FAR

 

What’s your why?
Every one of us has a why, don’t we? Don’t you? A reason to live, a reason to be, a value, a talent, a purpose. As Mark Twain philosophically writes:

‘’the two most important days in your life are the day you were born, and the day you find out why’’

That quote certainly resonates with me. The day I found out why I was born was the day my daughter was born. Up until my pregnancy I had skipped and searched my way through life, unsure of my why. The nine months of my pregnancy was a lovely long build up to that pivotal moment in time. My daughter arrived calmly and safely into the world and it’s like time stood still, and everything made sense there and then, my why was and still is my daughter. I was exhausted, drained and overwhelmed by it all, but something in that moment made a whole lot of sense and I felt complete.

tara and matilda bornThe day my daughter was born, a piece of me was born too.
I have always wanted children, since a young age I have always wanted a family to call my own at some point in my life. And when my husband and I found out we were pregnant, we were over the moon, we were having a baby, and a child to call our own, at the size of a poppy seed, our little family had just started. But really thinking about it now, I believe that wanting children of your own and wanting to be a mother are two separate ideas entirely. Children bring happiness, hope, joy, laughter, love, the list is endless. However a mother, a mother brings love, comfort, affection, care, peace, security, attachment, a safe place to call home and so so much more. The day my daughter was born, a piece of me was born too, the mother in me was born.

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Another why.
About three months into motherhood, I realised another why. I had a strong feeling I needed to help, support, raise, reassure and love other mums through their motherhood journeys too. I not only need to mother my daughter, but I needed to mother other mothers. All mothers need love, comfort, affection, care, peace, security, attachment, a safe place to call home. Motherhood is challenging and can be quite lonely as we all know to some extent. And all mothers of all walks of life deserve to be a part of a community, a tribe, a village. A good support network helps, parent and baby classes help, education and knowledge helps, birth preparation helps, holistic therapies help. Every one of these provide a safety cushion for mothers during pregnancy, birth and the beginnings of motherhood. And every single one of those, I am personally aiming to provide to mothers as my new business venture unfolds.

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Motherhood changes women’s lives
I listen to a lot of podcasts, have many mummy friends and personally know older mothers who have lived through the early stages of motherhood. One message that seems to truly echo through generations is that motherhood changes women’s lives so much, and mostly for the better. I know women who have suffered with anxiety before becoming a mother, to be the most calming of mothers following their birth. Women who have had terrible upbringings to be the most loving and caring of parents. And women who are so organised and regimented pre baby, to be more laid back and relaxed once their baby arrives, or vice versa. I was a bit of a daydreamer before I became a mother, never really knowing my purpose, my reason, my why. I enjoyed life to the max and was always grateful and thankful for my family and friends, my experiences and adventures. But I always felt a void, like something was missing, like there was a missing puzzle piece. Becoming a mother has certainly changed my life for the better and I no longer feel that void, that missing puzzle piece has been found and I am so honoured and so lucky to have become a mother. I am extremely grateful to my own mother for her care, love and strength. It’s only since becoming a mother that I now have the empathy and understanding of the true struggles of motherhood. I am so proud of my daughter and the inner ‘me’ she has gifted me, to help me to mother other mothers, as well as mothering her. She is by far my why, my inspiration and guidance in life and I will eternally be grateful to her.